Every Little Piece of Me – Click for Song

(Verse 1 )
Stop thinking tonight
You’re gonna drive yourself crazy
Just pull the shades down
And let the world go hazy                                                                                                             This room is way too blue
Bring back the colors to me
Don’t fail me now
I need you to soothe me

(Chorus)
Would you pick up
every little piece of me
every little piece
every little piece of me
and hold me together

(Verse 2)
It’s pulling me apart
Cold shots running through me
Getting close to the edge
Of what might undo me
Now I’ve fallen down
And ghosts are talking to me
Don’t let me go, my soul
think you would save me?

(Chorus) (Repeat)

Darkness Come Around Me – Click for Song

Darkness, come around me
Come and hold me sometime
Darkness, come around me
Come and hold me sometime

You seem to know me
You live on lies
Darkness, come around me
Come and hold me sometime

Cause I’m feeling you in the window box
I’m feeling you in my bones
I feel you creep into my soul
just holding me

I said darkness all around me
I said darkness, hold me sometime
Let that rain seep into my life
Let that rain fall down

You seep through the window panes
You shatter my brain
You shut out the sunlight
You blacken my days

Cause I’m feeling you when the wind gets cold
I’m feeling you in my bones
I feel you creep into my soul
just holding me

Oh darkness, come around me
Darkness, come and hold me sometime
Let the rain seep into my life
Let that rain fall down

I remember the night before,

You ate homemade salsa

That would end up on the floor.

You jabbered and laughed your way

Through playing board games

Never knowing the poison inside your pocket

Was deadly-laced.

The next morning,

I knew it:

I should have gotten up sooner.

Your heart, which I would press, was

Already still inside your chest.

My heart imploded

Crumbled down into itself

It aches and aches and aches and aches

Whistling bird

Whistling bird

I wonder what you say

as the light of spring dances around you

through shifting shady trees.

After the darling buds of May

have roughly shaken

and summer’s final lease is taken,

Will you keep springtime in your musical notations?

Will winter slow your tempo

still your breath

exhaust your tune?

Will you share your happiness

after the sunshine’s come and gone too soon?

I like the way the twilight looks

through my sunglasses.

Amber tinged.

A bath of golden light.

All the delight and beauty of a

sultry summer night.

I loved the way you looked

through my heart-wrought glasses.

Stunning through streams of

warm gilded light.

An age-stained photograph.

Memory-yellow.

The feeling of a lazy

lost and late summer afternoon.

You felt comfortable before I knew.

Comfortable before I knew.

Don’t talk about cheese. Ever! I’ve learned that cheese is not a topic to broach during polite conversation. You never know who doesn’t eat it! Talking about it is certain to unleash epic clashes on par with deep rooted philosophical divides and all out warfare. I made this mistake on the first day of 2017 and was rebuked, quite harshly, by the person I was trying to make small talk with. My blunder did not go over well, but I hope this sharp lesson in manners concedes to much milder lessons as the year ages and I become more refined in social graces.

Most of us know not to talk about politics or religion or sex in polite company…but be sure to add cheese to this list in 2017. You’ll thank me later.

But, seriously…what happened to chit-chat, shooting the breeze, the back and forth of easygoing banter? Isn’t friendly small talk a great way to get to know someone and begin to understand the nuances of their personality? Isn’t it a great way to learn something new? There’s levity and spontaneity that comes with taking words at face value.

After asking someone how they’ve been, an uttering like,”Oh, I’ve been workin’ hard, workin’ eight days a week” is not only brilliant, but it indicates the speaker has a way with words, a warped sense of time, and a flair for the hyperbolic. I’d definitely want to hang out more with that person!  I should also mention that this everyday banter led to a fun, upbeat love song by The Beatles. Can you imagine if Ringo Starr had scoffed at, corrected, or taken so seriously his overworked chauffeur’s conversational transgression instead of taking an interest, ears piqued with curiosity? There’d be less dancing, singing, and fun in the world.

For me, casual conversation is the conduit to deeper, meaningful discussions, and it’s a wonderful way to learn about other people in general. If you want to get to know somebody or just have a really interesting day, talk small and listen lightly; you can’t force the good stuff, the interesting stuff, or the insightful stuff.

Here’s to wishing everyone an amazing 2017 full friendly talks and more dancing and singing…

https://youtu.be/JELULTSzjWw

Wow…staying on the bandwagon has always been hard for me.  Health habit formation is NOT my forte, at least not lately!  I did wake up early yesterday and hit the gym.  It didn’t make me feel as amazing as I was hoping it would, but it was a heck of a start to a new week.  Last night, I worked out with a friend.  We really focused on abs.  If I don’t have a six-pack underneath the chub, there is not reason to ever hop on the wagon again.

So, habit formation…I’ve been reading about it for a few weeks and it is very interesting and academically stimulating.  But, as they say, the devil is in the putting it to practice.  This is the hardest part for me (and everyone else, I assume).  Consistency is what does me in.  This blog was supposed to be a meditation in that, but I’ve already missed two days.  Today is my repentance.  How’d I do?

You know the phrase.  “Some days!”  Some days are these days for me.  I’ve managed to spill coffee twice in two days on a carpet I’ve had for 3 years without a spill.  I went to Starbucks with two total different flip flops on last Friday.  I’ve called most of my students every name except their own.  And, here’s the worst part: it’s not even Friday.

Some days!

It’s hard to believe that life can go on without certain people.  My family lost four people this year, and it’s been hard.  What’s surprised me most is how my family has functioned through the experience, both as a unit and as individuals.  How can we live without the people we take for granted, the ones we never imagine not being in our lives?  Their permanent absence seems unreal, not right, a bad dream, unfathomable, un-graspable, untranslatable, just plain WRONG.  So, doesn’t it seem like we would just fall apart?  We haven’t, at least not out loud.  Why not?

My grandma is one of the people we lost and one whose absence seems unfathomable. Today is her birthday.  This blog entry is for me to remember her. More memories than I thought belong with her, especially memories of my childhood.  Since she’s been gone, the days and nights I spent with her in her big farm house seem more special, more important, more integral to making me who I am.  In the memories, I find pieces of myself I realize I could not have discovered until now after loss happened.  I am very happy and proud that those memories exist in my life.  I’ve learned some things through the losses of this year, but mostly I’ve learned that the ones left behind (all of us) just survive.  That’s all.

Nobody knows what to do with death.  For me, not knowing what to do with death makes me numb to its crashing my life.  In some ways, I’ve been on autopilot, but today, I’ll stop and wish my grandma a happy birthday in Heaven.  And I’ll shed some tears that I worried would never come.

Happy Birthday, Grandma!  I love you.

Love,

Kelly